Zac Efron Checks Himself Out

Right before I drift off to sleep every night, I'm usually thinking about doing unspeakable nasty things to Zac Efron. Once in a while my thoughts will go off on some metaphysical tangent, and I will wonder what it's like to be Zac Efron. And I've concluded that, if I were indeed him, I would probably spend countless hours staring at myself longingly in the mirror, slowly inching my fingers down my pants.

Well, guess what? My nighttime Zefron-induced metaphysical journeys are now fully documented universal truths! Last week, photographers on the Disney Studios lot in Burbank, California, caught Zac Efron checking himself out in the reflection of an SUV window! God, just knowing that he does this kind of thing gets me all kinds of hot and bothered.

I can picture him drifting off to sleep every night, singing, "I don't want/Anybody else/When I think about me/I touch myself." You know he does that. You know.